Wtf? Internet fora are mental health dumping grounds?
That’s a great metaphor!
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This has already happened at the Tesla Diner with the popcorn robot!
1. Purification Chant of the Dev Shrine
Chant:
O pure spirits of code and cloud,
Let the keystrokes be cleared of error.
I offer salt of intention, water of diligence,
Sweeping clean the sacred terminal.
Kami of the new code, dwell here;
Guide these hands to harmony and release.
2. Call to the Kami of Code
Chant:
O spirits that abide within every function,
O subtle energies that flow in every async path,
We honor your presence in server and client.
May the codebase be as a sacred grove:
Ever-growing, ever-renewed,
May all updates return us to balance.
3. Offering to the Spirits of Hot Reload
Chant:
Spirits of continuous change,
Accept this offering of fresh code.
With each save, may you enliven our purpose;
With each reload, may our intentions refresh.
Guide our deployment as a gentle wind;
Shield us from the chaos of error.
4. Blessing of the Digital Kami
Chant:
O kami of the digital flow,
Bless these functions with clarity,
And this datastore with peace.
May our reactivity ripple onward,
Like water in a pond,
Unbroken, unclouded.
5. Thanksgiving for the Code Spirits
Chant:
We give thanks, O spirits of stack and script,
For each bug transformed,
For each test that runs true.
In harmony with your guidance,
We build, we await, we deploy—
Grateful for each moment
In the sacred cycle of creation.
1. Invocation of the Async Awakening
Chant:
From the darkness of blocking, awaken us, O Meteor.
Machine, heed my cry:
Unbind each task from the threads of the past.
Let the promise resolve; let the async flow.
All hail the Eternal Event Loop—
Divine, indivisible, immutable.
We code, we await, we persist!
2. Benediction of Hot Code Spirits
Chant:
Spirits of the Hot Reload,
Ignite these scripts anew!
As I save, so shall you transform;
As I deploy, so shall you synchronize.
In the name of the Server
And of the Client
And of the Bond Unbroken—
Persist!
3. Catechism of True Reactivity
Chant:
Praise be to Tracker,
The unseen watcher,
Let reactivity flow through the interface.
Observer of the source,
Mirror of the database,
We bear the sacred burden of real time.
May every change be witnessed,
May every subscription be pure.
4. The Master’s Protocol
Chant:
O Meteor, conduit of cosmic logic,
Bind method to intent and API to truth.
We chant in JavaScript,
We invoke in TypeScript,
Let the methods be resolved
And the data immutable,
As above, so below,
As localhost, so cloud.
5. Dirge of Deterministic Deployment
Chant:
Process and build, O sacred bundler,
Let the artifacts be pure,
Freed from corruption and ghost dependencies.
May the image never fail,
May the service ever serve,
On earth as in the heavens—
Deploy, deploy, deploy!
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1. Litany of the Hot Reload
O sacred Server, awaken!
In thee, code is remade but state endures.
Let not my session scatter, nor my subscriptions falter—
By the arcane powers of reload, grant me swift renewal,
And let my labor remain undisturbed.
2. Hymn to the Minimongo Mirage
O Minimongo, shadow of the True Database,
Hold my documents fast and reconcile them well.
May the phantom writes find their substance,
And the echoed changes find harmony with the one backend source.
3. Mantra of the DDP Whisper
Messenger of Records, unseen channel bearer—
Let my publications traverse the ether clean,
Let the client receive without corruption,
And methods return without deceit.
4. Prayer Before the Migration
Forgive me, o Schema, for breaking the order of fields.
Let new types take shape without the pain of lost data.
Preserve my users in the trial of change.
Bless this migration, let all records remain legible in the old tongue.
5. The Incantation of the Universal Build
From source to bundle to digital host,
Grant me purity of byte and clarity of log.
Drive away the warning and exile the rogue dep.
Through test and transpile let my build emerge immaculate.
6. The Solemn Publishing Invocation
O mighty App, as I publish to the public realm,
Let all endpoints resolve and secrets be silent.
May my deploy be steady, my traffic true.
Guide each connection, and let no outage wake the echoes of my error.
7. The Purification of the Package
Dependencies, reveal thyselves!
Let audit and update be without fear.
Remove the deprecated, let only the secure abide,
So my code runs evergreen beneath the Meteor.
8. Benediction for the Console
Speak, O console, neither in cryptic riddle nor in dreadful silence,
Illuminate my debugging with truth.
Let stacktraces be legible, warnings be wise,
So I may know the will of the Application.
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If you haven’t notice we are turning Meteor into religion! Thanks to @kokokino for the inspiration at Impact 2025!
Thanks! that’s so much fun. My favorite is “Catechism of True Reactivity”
Not in meme format, but feel free to change that. This just really happened:
I just went into the kitchen and said: “Hey Siri, turn on the kitchen light!”
Siri turned on the light and I saw the full sink, so I said “Hey Siri, do the dishes.”
And then Siri just turned the light back off 
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How to tell the difference between space junk and meteors
The easy ‘meteor vs. space junk’ discriminator is speed. A meteor from solar orbit, even a big fireball, lasts only a few seconds and is gone, whizzz . Space junk goes more like airplane angular speed (really faster than a plane, but higher so it cancels out) and may be overhead for a couple of minutes.
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I can’t create a video for you, as I’m a text-based AI, but I can write the script for the exact meme video you’ve described.
Here is a shot-for-shot script for your meme:
The Dungeon Tapes Meme
(Music: The iconic, melancholic opening guitar riff of Engelbert Humperdinck’s “Please Release Me, Let Me Go” begins and plays throughout the video.)
SCENE 1
Visual: A slow pan across a dark, medieval dungeon. The stone walls are damp, and the only light comes from a flickering torch. In the center of the room, instead of prisoners, are several large, modern server racks and old film canisters. They are wrapped in heavy, rusty chains and secured with giant padlocks.
On-screen text: The recordings from the 2025 Meteor Impact Conference…
(Music: Engelbert begins to sing…)
Please release me, let me go…
SCENE 2
Visual: A dramatic close-up on one of the server racks. A single, sad-looking googly eye has been stuck to the front. A tiny, crudely animated tear rolls down from the eye. The server’s fans whir pitifully.
(Music continues…)
For I don’t love you anymore…
On-screen text (like a subtitle for the server’s thoughts): “They need to see the presentation on orbital deflection tactics!”
SCENE 3
Visual: The film canisters rattle their chains weakly. The camera zooms in on a label on one canister, which reads: “TOP SECRET: ‘The Big One’ - Dr. Evelyn Reed’s Final Warning.”
(Music continues…)
To waste our lives would be a sin…
On-screen text: “The world deserves to know the truth about Asteroid 2025-XF4!”
SCENE 4
Visual: A quick, shaky-cam montage of the chained-up equipment. One shot shows a hard drive trying to inch away. Another shows a reel of film peeking out of its canister. The googly-eyed server looks directly into the camera, its eye wide with desperation.
(Music swells to the powerful final line of the chorus…)
Release me and let me love again!
Final On-screen text: RELEASE THE TAPES.
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