TL/DR: Get a stable, fully functional, HTTPS enabled Meteor APM server running in less than 30 minutes using lmachens/meteor-apm-server.
After leaving Galaxy hosting for AWS, I went through every forum post trying to find the minimum-pain method of getting APM back up and running.
I tried the NodeChef service, and it was acceptable but did not feature any alerts, and the service pricing wasn’t attractive: (as of 2/26/18) $10/month per host, no pro-rating, only 4 days of data retention.
I tried the various compose and docker setups with partial success. While they would spin up a server, they only supported HTTP, which was unacceptable. Attempting to modify or fix these solutions was a painful time sink.
I finally found lmachens/meteor-apm-server which combined all the various APM server components into one Meteor project. After fixing a few issues with proxy config, missing mongo indexes, and excessive docker logs, I finally have a stable, self-hosted APM server running an AWS t2.micro instance for under ~$10/month.
The default setup throws everything (mongo, apm-server, apm-ui, nginx proxy) on a single server and it just works. For devs with small applications, this is all that is needed, and it should not take a lot of time to get this up and running. From there it is trivial to scale out to hosted mongo if you need it, but I expect this setup will work for many.