Why on earth is HTTP.call crashing my server?

I’m having some odd issues with HTTP.call. Would you take a look at my stack overflow post and tell me what you think?

http://stackoverflow.com/ questions/33644547/server-crashing-on-http-call-with-meteor-mismatched-async-results

(Sorry about the broken URL, I had to split up the link or else the forums would yell at me for having too many links in a post…)